Better late than never

So...Sunday Spencer and I accidently slept in on Sunday and got up just after 9am (or so we thought)...which is what time church starts. So I hurried and got James's hair trimmed (yes, it HAD to be done before church) and showered and got ready when I yell down to Spencer (who is feeding Baer) "We gotta go in 5 minutes!". Then he told me that it was actually not even 8:00 yet and his alarm clock was wrong. We were on time to church yesterday!! I didn't look my best but we were on time.

Nursery was a bit stressful...we had crying children, kids pushing and stealing toys, stinky children, and hungry children. Jenny and I took turns dealing with stuff and taking kids to their parents for one reason or another and Jenny told me she didn't see either of our husbands in class. I wasn't that suprised since we were both so tired getting up this morning I thought he might be in the car napping or if they were together...ditching. Jenny laughed and agreed they were both possible for her husband, too. On the way home I teased Spencer asking him where he was and what was for dinner (he cooks on Sunday). He said he was there for part of the time but wasn't feeling well...and was not sure what we were going to have. When we got home I opened the door and it smelled like roast & veggies cooking in the crock pot and he had cleaned up and vacumed. Stunned, I stopped and asked..."Did you come HOME and CLEAN??" (DUH). He then replied "Happy Mother's Day!". I can not tell you HOW GREATFUL I was and still am since we had therapy at our house today and I only had to do a little picking up. It's not spotless and still has a lot to be done but I was SO far behind with so much going on that I am So greatful and impressed he got so much done in that amount of time.

I walked in a little further and noticed flowers in the livingroom and kitchen, chocolate cake, "special" m&m's, and fresh cherries & blackberries. Yummm.

And that was just the beginning of a great day :)

Mother's Day or Father's Day??

Yes, this is a poor me blog...just so you know :)

I have a friend who says that she appreciates it when people are "REAL" with her about things and don't pretend like everything is always perfect. I tend to try to hide things when things are difficult and when I need help I try to spread it out so that I'm not asking the same friend for so many favors. I hate asking for help but I feel like I have had to ask for it a lot lately. I guess I have a lot of friends who need to gain those blessing from serving me, lol. Anyway, this is me being REAL...

Spencer went in to the ER yesterday for his back and has been completely helpless the last few days. I have been catering to his every need and the kids haven't exactly been easy. I'm sure I am making it worse than it is...I tend to over-react when I'm tired/grumpy.


I haven't been sleeping well either. Spencer snores SO LOUD and it's so hard for me to deal with. I have tried earplugs (the highest rating I could find), He has tried some over the counter snore prevention stuff (mouthguard, nose strips, and a nose ring looking thing) and I have tried to get him to go to the doctor about it but he seems to think he knows what the problem is and how to fix it...that problem just isn't getting fixed though. Sometimes I seriously consider moving in to the guest bedroom but I don't because I feel that could potentially be a problem in other areas. Today I tried to take a nap after church and after I got the kids down but Spencer was snoring so loud...I kept kicking him until he asked me why I kept kicking him. I told him "It's Mother's Day and I just want to take a nap!" I know that was probably insensitive of me since he has been in a lot of pain but I feel wound so tight lately and need some relief. He ended up hobbling down the stairs for a little bit so that I could take a nap but it was a horrible one. Have you waken up from a nap feeling like your blood is just boiling with anger? That is how I felt after this nap and got woken up by Spencer comming back to bed because he couldn't stay awake [the pain medication he is on is making him drowsy...maybe I should jack a few of those ;)].

So from serving Spencer and catering to him so much I just feel like today is more of a Father's Day than a Mother's Day...if Spencer wasn't in so much pain. I do feel bad feeling that way.

On another note, Baer has been getting test after test and is up to 3 therapists...this week 4 therapy appointments so far but are waiting to hear about possibly more. The developmental pediatrician mensioned autism as a possibility and wants to add some more therapist that SHE recomments IN ADDITION. He will be getting another speech therapist and an ABA specialist/therapist. She says that I should be working with Baer 40 hrs a week...this I have to say stresses me out. I feel like that is a lot to handle with everything else going on. I will just have to do my best and that's all I can do [no this statement isn't me being rational...It's a little attitude...I'm just being real :)] Baer will also be getting some more genetic testing and has to see a pulmonology specialist, possible endoscopy and/or throat swallow, has an appointment for a GI specialist, a doctor to come and diagnose whether or not he has autism, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera... I feel like up to this point I have actually been dealing with all of this really well. I was talking to my Mom the other day and she said the same thing. I just feel like it is starting to really catch up to me now. My house is a disaster...more than usual and I just can't seem to get caught up. I feel like I should be able to do more but I am always SO tired I just don't have the energy to clean when I have a spare moment so I don't.

James has been having a listening problem lately and it has been hard emotionally to deal with. It made me feel better to hear/see that my sister-in-law is having the same issue with her boys this last week as well.

I know that I have a lot of blessings and I am not forgetting those. I know that there are a lot of people out there with more issues to deal with than me....and maybe it's you. I don't know. I have so much to be greatful for...I just want you to know that after such a post.

Hopefully I will wake up in the morning with a little more sleep and all of this will just seem silly, but sometimes you just gotta rant when you are IN the moment.

If you have made it this far...(I don't know...I got nothin'...that was going to be clever but it's gone) :)



P.S. (I'm adding this after posting)... On the bright side of things I DID get chocolate dipped strawberries for Mother's Day from church, and some of the men came and took over Nursery to give me a break. I was able to go to class, which I haven't done in a long time.

The Park

Here just some pictures from a stroll/ride to the park.

I really like this picture but I just wish my lips were closed all the way.

James swinging.

Lauren doing her thing.

I love this picture...Baer has such beautiful eyes.

James was showing me that he could climb down the "tree" all by himself. He was very pleased with himself.

James can be a bit afraid of heights and Spencer helped him on the tree until he was comfortable doing it himself.

Baer loves to swing.

Spencer scooted him back in the swing so he'd be more comfortable but once he started swinging he slid right back forward pinning his arms...it made a cute photo though.

Playing with the sticks/dirt.

Before we went to the park James had the white hat on and when he took it off his hair was matted and I couldn't resist taking a picture.

Justin and Shaggy.

Grinnin' Baer.

I thought James's outfit was cute. He found his hat he got in the hospital when he was born and was wearing it all afternoon. His shirt is buttoned the wrong way, you can't tell in the picture but his pants are a size too small and he's wearing boots. Not your typical spring outfit...I love it!

The End...Thanks for Peeking!

My new hair-do & the boys

We have been getting a lot of rain the last week or so and James was playing in a puddle we have by the road. I thought this was a cute picture and I added some grunginess to it and burned the picture around him.

Splish-splash!
My friend Erika took this picture.

James's friend Lauren shared her water/sand toys and they made "cupcakes".

Just a fun one of my new hair and glasses.

Cute Baer.

Baer kept making this face when I went to take his picture. It was pretty funny/cute.

James likes to wear Spencer's radio headphones.

Cute boys.

Thanks for peeking!

My Boys

Sunday I had Spencer take pictures of me with the boys. I need to be better about how I have him take the pictures because I think I hurt his feelings. When Spencer takes a picture he just stands there and holds down the shutter so it takes a ton of pictures really fast so I had a ton of pictures of me trying to push my hair out of my eyes and pull my dress down. I got after him for it because that's what he always does. He was a good sport though and I asked him nicely this time to move around and wait until I was done moving around. He got some really good ones I think.

It was bright in the kids eyes, but this is a cute one of Baer.
The first picture I edited my roots but this one I didn't bother. I knew I was getting my hair done in 2 days.

James likes to wear his pants backwards occasionally....and yes, it is on purpose. I think it's creative.

James loves dandelions...yellow AND white.

Thanks for peeking!